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 hiei senshi

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travishogsed
Genin
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travishogsed

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PostSubject: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeSun Jun 14, 2009 2:59 pm

Name:hiei Senshi

Ninja Rank: ex anbu

Village: Ice Country of Makai (Koorime)

Clan: Senshi

Age:appears 15

Gender: Male

Height:5

Weight:175

Elemental Affinity: kekkei genkai

Race: human

Looks: hiei senshi Hiei13

hiei senshi Hiei_v

hiei senshi 1200229807_cturesHIEI

Personality:He's intelligent, sarcastic, arrogant, secretly caring in his own way, he does not like to use unnesasery chakra

Skill: Doujutsu, Weaponry

Kekkei Genkai: Jagan eye- (Allows the user to paralyze their opponents for up to 30 seconds with a glare from the Mittsugan eye on the user's forehead. It also allows short range reading of surface thoughts and the ability to implant emotions. In addition members of at least one branch of the Senshi clan have the ability to summon and control a elementally composed fire dragon of various colors.]

Jutsu-jagan glare- S rank looks in the eyes of his opponent with the jagan eye and they are paralized for upto 30 sec.

fear implant- B rank he implants fear in his opponent (makes his opponent fear him)

depreasion implant- B rank implants depreasion on his opponent (makes his opponent depreasd to the point of suicide)

love implant- B rank implants love on his opponent (makes his opponent feel like they love him and will not wont to hurt him)

addrenilan- C rank allows him to move at incredable speed (does not requir hand signs)

black slash-C ranka lighting quick slash of his sword while dashing forward

bladed tempest- A rank spins his sword around him so fast that its like a tempest inorder to block incoming attacks

thousand cuts- B rank kicks his enemy in the air and jumps to cut them a any were from 10 to 20 times (does not kill only weakens)

sword slash- A rank swings his sword so fast that the wind it self will cut you from it

after slice- A rank send an illusion of his sword slash then uses his sword slash

black blur- B rank moves so fast that you can barly see him while doing so he cuts you over and over

black flame dragon released- S rank forbbiden summons the black flame dragon out of his hand to attack his enemy (if hits there is nothing left to tell who or what they were and he cant do it but once a day and his hand takes half a days to heal because he has not fully mastered this jutsu yet)
can embue his black flame dragon with the lighting element to make it more powerfull

dragons power- S rank forbbiden takes the dragons power in emself the dragon then increases his offensive and defensive abilities. While formidable, the technique drains so much energy that he becomes comatose after his energy has been used up

multi. black flame dragon- S rank takes his sealing paper and attaches them to kunis and throws them at near by objects then after so many hand signs the black flame dragon comes out of each peice of paper to attack one target at the same time

dragon whirl wind- B rank forms a sphear of the dragons power around him deflecting attacks (all c rank some lower b rank)

dragon bain- A rank using his enhuman speed while enfusing the dragons power around his hand he throws a punch that will put a hole through two inches of steel

black flames- A rank uses a little bit of the dragons power to shoot out of his hands( ex. a little weaker than the chidori)

double black flames- A rank shoots the black flames out both hands at the same time or at diffrent times

black flame rings- A rank can capture his enemy in rings of black fire to hold them in place

black lighting- B rank its a thunder cloud with black lighting

black lighting chanel- A rank can chanel the black lighting in the sky into tenticals that shoot out of his hands

black lighting rain- A rank can make the lighting come down and strike the ground or his target

black soul- A rank takes a piece of paper that has been enfused with the black flame dragons power and sticks it on the enemy to drain there charkra

black clone- A rank he spits into to and they both have the Jagan eye

flame fists- B rank his fist sets a fire and he does a rapid punch to there chest and gut

leganday weapon- mankin a long sword that never dulls and it wont let him get cut enless they have more charkra than he does

Items/Weapons: sealed paper, kunis

History: abandoned at birth by his parents he was found by a hermit in the woods and raised him to be a fighter when he turned 15 he enterd a tornament held by the elders of a hidden village when he won the tornament he got one request and because he was not touched in the fight because of his speed he could wish for anything he wanted he asked to be immotal but they said that they could not do it so they made him young for ever now he is serching the world for his family to try and find out why he was abandond for and he has bean found by cole an S rank crimeinal that has info. on his family and knows were his brother is


Last edited by travishogsed on Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:47 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Atreyuvision
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeThu Jun 18, 2009 8:39 pm

So this guy is a missing nin...Okay...I don't think ANBU work for the Ice Country...but okay...


thousand cuts- B rank kicks his enemy in the air and jumps to cut them a thousand times (does not kill only weakens) - No, that is S rank and would require a large amount of energy/hand signs.

Also his strengh increses by 1.8 times evrey half an hour while in battle - No, get rid of that...He's strong enough. And no, he is NOT ALLOWED to have telekinesis...

dragon bain- A rank using his enhuman speed while enfusing the dragons power around his hand he throws a punch that will put a hole through six inches of steel - I'm assuming that this ability is virtually a rasengan...


black lighting- B rank can make the sky start shooting black lighting - This is easily an S or A rank, depending on how powerful this is...It would take a large amount of chakra to cause a lightning storm...


hypnosis- A rank using his Jagan eye he can make people with weak minds follow his every command (he well know what you are doing as long as one of his followers can see you)

mass hypnosis- S rank using his jagan eye he can make upto ten people follow his every command (he well know what you are doing as long as one of his followers can see you) - A powerful Shinobi would be immune to such attacks.



demon form- can change into a form with green skin and eyes sprouting all over his body (Hiei rarely uses this form because it is too uncontrollable) - Don't go crazy with this, it is only so powerful...

leganday weapon- mankin a long sword that never dulls and has a release that when activated turnes into tiny particals thats razor sharp and he can controll them with his mind but faster with his hand (he has not been pushed this far since the final round of the tornament)
-Tiny razor sharp particles...That wouldn't hurt me at all...Maybe if they were paper clip sized razor sharp pieces of your sword it would make sense...but tiny particles, shit that you would need a microscope to see? No way dude...Fix that.


That's all I saw that bugged me so far, though I did not like all of your jutsu...Some of them just didn't bug me as much as these.
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Teiji Yoritomo
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 20, 2009 12:29 am

Please no direct rip offs. You can use the pictures but no copypasta please.
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travishogsed
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeSun Jun 21, 2009 2:14 pm

the only thing that is the same is that he has the jagan eye and his swordman ship and i evan explain that in his history that the way that they got the jagon eye was diffrent that in mine got his in a tornament and they one from the show gets his to find his sister plus he is a demon so hes lives for ever and mine had to ask for it and he is just young forever there is a lot of diffrents between the two
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Teiji Yoritomo
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeSun Jun 21, 2009 2:24 pm

I was thinking it should be a new Doujutsu based Kekkei Genkai. I'll help you come up with abilities because I wanna make another guy myself and I like the 3rd eye idea.
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travishogsed
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeSun Jun 21, 2009 3:05 pm

k thats cool with me but i would like to keep my sword styles though
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Teiji Yoritomo
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 24, 2009 10:50 am

The sword techniques should be fine. I'll look at them real quick.

PS: Me and you should work on the eye abilities.
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Teiji Yoritomo
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 24, 2009 10:54 am

Read them. I don't like the hypnosis moves at all, takes away free will which is not allowed. The sword techniques look good except you need to put something somewhere about a jutsu of some sort that allows you to move that quickly.
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Teiji Yoritomo
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PostSubject: Re: hiei senshi   hiei senshi I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 24, 2009 11:41 am

So for this Doujutsu, I figure you come up with 1-3 abilities and I will as well. Then we'll decide on the best 2 or 3. Send them to me in a PM.
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